Articles on Hair | Topic: hair
by Ortensia Pruitt
I have a brother-in-law that is clearly a waste of space. I don’t know what is wrong with my sister, but she married one of the most worthless people I have ever seen. For me to say something like that is rare, but there is nothing about this guy that I like, and I am not the only one in my family that wishes he would just go away. Not only does he not know how to hold a job, he doesn’t let my sister do anything with her family. On top of that, on the rare occasion that they do show up somewhere, he always makes a point to hit on me. He makes me sick. One year for Christmas I was given his name in our gift drawing, and I was not happy about having to buy him something. That was until I found the perfect gift. I got him a nose hair clipper from the discount rack.
Though I know there are great reasons to own a nose hair clipper, I knew that this would be something that would offend him. I didn’t care. I had had enough of him, and when I told my dad what I had bought for my beloved brother-in-law, he had to leave the room to laugh. This guy is truly a piece of work, and over the years he has proven to us that he is a big jerk, and that he does not appreciate my sister as he should. The nose hair clipper might offend him, but I knew he wouldn’t have the guts to call me on it while he was there.
| Quote of the Day |
“You are old, father William,” the young man said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”
| —Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832–1898) |
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Of course, they never showed up for Christmas, so the nose hair clipper remained in the box. It was a shame that I could not give it to him, but I thought perhaps that might have been for the best. As much as I can not stand him, I do care for my sister. The more I thought about it, the more I thought she might get the backlash from the nose hair clipper. That would not have been cool. So it’s a good thing they never showed up.
There may never be a good time to get someone a nose hair clipper as a gift. The only time this would be a good idea is if they ask you to get them one, and even then, you have no idea if they are serious. However, joking or not, if they say it then you can get it. I would think that this is something that a person would always want to buy for themselves, and would be embarrassed to get as a gift. Much like tampons and hemorrhoid cream, there are just some purchases that should be done personally. If you know someone like my brother-in-law though, all bets are off.
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